CF life Update

I just got a really uplifting and encouraging comment from a reader- and I realise I don't blog nearly as much as I used to- but y'know why? Cause everything is going REALLY WELL.

Scott's in Manitoba doing his SQ FINALLY. That only took 3 1/2 years!! Not that I'm complaining, but seriously- he was supposed to do it right after BMQ. He's not happy, he's confined to base and has nothing to do but obey orders and let's face it- he hasn't lived in the shacks for 2 years, he's not used to obeying any orders beyond "do the laundry, take out the garbage, stop hogging all the blankets". I miss him, more than I have in a while...probably because I'm not busy with school this time. I really don't mind the CF, I just wish they'd send us back to Ontario- anywhere in Ontario would suffice, just put me back there. Not that Edmonton is horrible, it's just not where I want to be.

So that's pretty much it. He's gone, which is an oddity now. I just spent some time reading the posts I put up when he first left. And it seems to far away and distant to me. Yes, that was hard- and no, I wouldn't want to do it again, but y'know what? It doesn't even seem like it was real now. I know I did it, I know it was hard, but life is so freaking NORMAL now and has been since we moved to Edmonton that it just seems silly that I was so worried about it. When he's home he goes to work and comes home to me. When he's not here is few and far between these days. It took us a while to get here, but now that we're here it doesn't seem like it was all that bad. And it wasn't. If I had to do it again, I could.

I will say this though: to any girl thinking of sticking it out with a guy going into the CF, make sure he's really got a strong character. I've met a lot of soldiers since Scott joined up, A LOT, and some of them- well, they get lost in it. They forget who they are and what's important to them and become these jarheads who live and breathe the CF. You want your man to love what he does, but you want him to love you more. I've met to many guys who seemed like really nice fellows only to completely change personality when they go through BMQ. Or cheat, which their gfs never would have expected out of them. Or start smoking. Someone going into the CF has to be sure of himself and his life outside the CF before they go into it. Or else they'll come back changed for the worse.

This being said- my advice for women whose men ARE going in is this: change your definition of romantic. If he hangs up on you in the middle of a conversation he's not disrespecting you, he risked calling you when he wasn't supposed to and almost got caught. Know yourself- just like your hunny going into the forces can change him if he's not sure of himself, it will change you into a whiny, needy, whelp of a woman if you don't have the backbone to say "I will not pine, I will not NOT do things just cause he isn't here. I will have my own interests and friends and hobbys and having those things while he's gone makes me no less of a good girlfriend, but makes me a better one because I'm a more interesting person for them." Despite what the books will tell you, in the CF you cannot be two halves of a whole in a relationship- that spells disaster. In the CF you have to be two whole and complete people who are bound by their love and can be fabulous together, but can also be fabulous apart. It is possible- so just decide you're going to do it and do it.

My other advice is that nothing is ever set in stone- ever ever ever until it is actually physically happening. Get used to checking out cancellation policy's and if it's unfavourable to your situation make the effort to call the hotel/vacation rental/doctors/ whatever and ask if they'll make an exception for you because of the CF. Many will. I've discovered even my wedding venue will reschedule our wedding if for some reason Scott can't make it. Be flexible, have your heart set on nothing, and just accept that sometimes you're going to have to go without him. And try not to punch couples in the face while you're at it.

I really encourage any girl who wants to know what the CF is like to email me, or call me. If you'd like to talk to me directly please feel free to leave a comment with your email address (all my comments are moderated so I won't publish the ones with emails in them, just email you back) and we can chat. I know how scary it was to be facing this big thing called the CF that I had no idea about and didn't seem to have any answers to- I really don't want anyone else to have to feel that way. :)