God Will Find a Way

So most of you have probably heard my speal lately about finding my path. I've always been a planner- I like to know where I'm going and when and how I'm getting there. In my mind, whenever I leave something up to chance it goes wrong so why take that chance with my life, right?

Well- sometimes God has other ideas. I remember being told, by my youth pastor, when I was in grade 9, that plans are great and all but that I can't expect my life to turn out exactly as I planed it- because God's got his own plan for me. I think I actually laughed at him. Well, darn it, I've gone and put my foot in my mouth- again. And here's why:

When I got accepted to York's design program I was over the moon: the spots were limited, I was gung-ho to be a graphic designer, and I knew York had the best program in the country. I was determined that I would join the student design association, get some wicked internships, and go off and become a great designer...if not a famous one. Then, about a month before I was to leave for York I got a letter saying I'd been kicked out- my GPA was to low. Why? Because I'd miscommunicated with my French teacher and she'd given me a bad mark- a LOW mark, and it had affected my marks so badly that I'd been kicked out of University. Before I even GOT there!

Well needless to say, I was devestated. I was sure my life as I knew it was over- I was going to have to work at Farmboy for the rest of my life. My parents assured me this wasn't the case, but I couldn't be convinced. Anyways, after many weeks of fighting with York's admin, they finally put me in a different program- FACS, and as you all know, I hate FACS. But I went. And I did it- now I'm graduating from it. I stuck it out and I'm glad I did. Because something became very clear to me while I was in Toronto: I'm not designer material. My calling is with kids. I don't know WHY this came as a shock to me- the reason I was going to be a designer (or at least part of it) was that I could work at home and stay with my yet-to-be-born children! But alas, I apparently wasn't looking at my life in the right light so God had to shove it in my face- like it or not. There it was. Granted I can only see this with 20/20 hindsight. I wasn't quite so sure of myself as it was happening to me.

And now, we've been sent to Edmonton. Yup, that wasn't in the plan either. But- I have to say, who am I to question it when OBVIOUSLY there's something at work here that I'm not aware of, or can't even fathom.

So that's why I have to say Alelujia and be thankful to God for showing me my path. I'm sure my path will change several times before I'm through needing paths- but I have to go for it. Y'know that song "Jesus Take the Wheel"? I listened to that song for 3 hours my first night in Toronto, feeling destitute, alone, and SO scared. And he did.

Praise God.