PISSED OFF!

Okay, I've been doing this more lately...partially cause I'm hormonal right now and partially cause nobody seems to be listening to me in real life!

So today the summer course schedual for my school finally goes up. YAY! I've been looking to take a summer course this year cause I'm tired of having to take 5 courses every semester...it's a lot of work, especially when you're trying to fit in actually working to make money as well. Which is why I'm behind a half-year credit cause I dropped an online course last semester. Whoops, oh well- I figure if I take a full-credit summer course I'll have the he-haw to make up a half credit course next spring. At least it makes sense to me.

So back to the summer courses schedual- it's got quite a nice variety of classes and I'm excited that I've compiled a list of at least 6 courses I really wouldn't mind taking. My biggest surprise though was that the FACS department (my department) is offering a one-month course during June to ROME to study the art and culture! How cool is that? I really wanted to go on an exchange next year but I can't for several reasons, and this seems like a course I'd really enjoy, so I can get the exchange-esque experience without having to leave home turf for a whole year!

So I've emailed the department about costs/information sessions/ etc. But I was excited at the prospect of going to Rome for a month and txted Scott to tell him...only I phrased it as a "would you mind me going to Rome for amonth with school this summer?"...a question I didn't really want an honest answer to! But no, he texts me back saying he doesn't really like the idea because he thinks I'd leave him for an italian dude. Now lets get some perspective on this- Scott, although my beloved, has made some questionable decisions in the past year and a half- namely JOINING THE DAMN ARMY! Now I wasn't 100% in favour of the idea of him taking off for several months, not seeing him for long stretches of time, or even hearing from him for long stretches of time, but I knew he wanted to do it and therefore supported him as best I could/can. I put my trust in him, let him go off and do his thing, AM STILL letting him go off and do his thing, all the while pretending that the fact that I don't have my boyfriend all the time is perfectly okay with me- as long as he's happy. And for the most part it is.

But I kind of expect the same trust and support in return. He didn't support my effort to go work at a camp in the US for the summer, he didn't support my efforts to work at ANY camp this summer, he wanted me home. Okay fine. So now I'm going to work at home. And probably move in with him in September when I move back to Ottawa (if all goes well). I'm not sure if he knows or not but if it were not for him I'd probably be going on an exhange next year- but I'm not cause I love him and don't want to be away from him for a full year.

So this seems like a nice compromise. I work at home for April and May, go to Italy for June, come back and work for July and August. I get my adventure, I get my credits, and he gets me home for the majority of the summer. Questioning my loyalty to him is just a low blow- if I were going to leave him, believe me, I'd have gotten on with it by now! The amount of SHIT I go through for this guy is almost unbelieveable to a civi woman. And yet I'm as faithful as ever, I love him more than ever, and the idea that I would leave him for some Romanian dude who doesn't even speak the same language as I do is quite frankly insulting. Totally insulting. Do I not deserve some sort of credit for the trust and support I've given him over the last year and a half?

Then there's my Dad. WELL- it was HIS big idea that I go on an exchange, which I don't want to do- A) cause it'd cost way to much and B) cause I don't wanna be away for that long. So why when I email him about this potential opportunity does he scoff and say "well depends on how much it costs". Yeah okay, you're willing to pay for me to go to Europe/Australia for a whole year but if I wanna go for a month it's a maybe on the basis of cost. PUH-LEASE!

Is there a full moon tonight? Are men just inherintly STUPID today? They're making NO SENSE. None whatsoever. And my Dad and I were getting along so well last night! We went to see Dirty Dancing at the Royal Alex cause he got tickets from his boss, and despite the obvious sexual scenes in the play there was minimal awkwardness...he even bought me an icecream cone! (My father doesn't spend money on frivolities like icecream very often if ever.) It was an AMAZING show...they did a really great job of putting the movie into a play format, no major details were left out, and basically we had a really good father/daughter time! So why the brash brush-off today?!

So that is why I'm pissed off. I think it's a totally valid point of view. So there. I'm tired of all this double standards stuff with Scott and I and I'm tired of all this "I'm willing to pay for this but not for this, even if the second is less than the first...har har" with my father. Now I'm going to go make some lunch, finish my homework, email it in, and go water the Callahans plants. I bet the CALLAHANS will have no problem letting me leave for a month to go to Italy!